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Is our life as a newfound Christian, claimed by the Most High in His Son, really our own? Are we free to come and go as we please, to hold and release things as we will, to live as lord of all that we believe to be ours? Are there any claims upon us that supersede what we consider our freedom and independence? Are we truly the master of our choices and circumstances; or is there another, whose thoughts and intents toward us take precedent? Seems all so very un-American or un-western doesn't - this idea that we may not be free to come and go as we please? That our rights and liberty as earthly or national citizens is somehow limited? Yet, my brethren, when we surrendered ourselves to Him absolutely (assuming of course that this is what we did), what did we think it could mean? What were the practical consequences? What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost [which is] in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? (1Cr 6:19) "Not your own" - now, now brother, calm down; don't start getting too radical now. The Scriptures don't really mean that in its fullest extent. It's language, you know, religious hyperbole or some such thing. Oh really? My reading of this, and I believe I have the Spirit's authority here - is that if indeed God has claimed us as His dwelling place, then the deed and title to our lives henceforth belongs to Him. Not yourself! Not your family! Not your husband or wife! Not your nation or government! Not your church group or denomination! But to Him! And His claim on us is absolute, unconditional and non-negotiable. And if we feel compelled to squirm out from under this then I fear we may not truly comprehend or accept what son-ship and discipleship are all about. I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, [which is] your reasonable service. (Rom 12:1) A living sacrifice! Not some dead beast slung upon a stony, bloody altar; but alive and breathing, and thinking, and choosing, and walking this way or that; with nothing spared or held back, with nothing labeled as untouchable; the whole thing relinquished without condition or limit, offered freely and willfully to He who is singularly worthy of such a claim. Dear brethren - God has really been hammering home this concept to me lately - that I must lay it all down before Him, as a lamb perfectly trusting the shepherd; that I need to let it all go - this world and all of my inborn ways of responding to it, its hopes and ambitions, its empty promises, everything without exception or excuse; even all of the many aspects of my personality and identity that have served or supported me for so long; at least on a worldly level. I must confess to all of you here that this is more than a little frightening. So much easier it is to come out of the world and abandon our love for it, or our pride in it, than to allow ourselves to be so nakedly exposed, to trust something outside of ourselves so utterly. Here is where our faith requires something profoundly real and raw. Here are all of those difficult Scriptures that we modern Christians are so quick to powder over, or ignore. You must realize that I have always attempted in so many ways, to control of my life down to the last detail; but now He is saying that this deeply engrained control has to give way to absolute trust in him. I must relinquish it all - even all of it that helps life to make sense to me; to help me cope in a world under the thumb of the devil and the carnal whims of man. From the earliest age I learned rather painfully that men and the institutions of the world are not to be trusted - not strangers nor even those who were my own blood. Probably before I even realized what I was doing at a conscious level, I had resigned to take my life into my own hands, to become my own guardian, provider, master and protector. Only then (so I assumed at some survival level) would I stand a better chance of not being hurt or disappointed. And for almost forty years this has hardened into a muscle that is flexed constantly and as naturally as breathing in and breathing out. It runs hard and deep into everything I do and think and it is actually almost impossible to imagine myself without these coping and defense mechanisms; these controlling instincts that preserve and protect me from the world and everything in it. It’s a subtle form of idolatry really, and yet it is so easy and almost natural for me to justify. It protects me (or at least promises to), gives me confidence (when really deep down I am a small little man in my own eyes), it projects me into the world such that the world even rewards it. We become what many would consider successful. Yet it too like every other vain thing must be seen for what it is and surrendered to Him. Trusting in Him when we have no control, such as a child does (they have no choice), will keep us from reducing His place on the throne of our lives. Slowly, gradually, painfully... all that I have tried to bring under my sphere of influence and control over these last forty years is being released. And it must be so, for only then can the real Lord and Master be presented and advanced. Better that I step back into the shadows and He is revealed. He, not I, is worthy of the world's attention. He is the one deemed as worthy by the Father. Dear saints - while out walking the other night, I heard His voice just as crystal clear in my spirit as anything, and He asked me; "Do you trust me my son?" I replied that He knows all things, and that I didn't feel worthy to give an answer. But I wanted to trust Him, and to know that I could. You see, we cannot trust Him as we should and still be in control over our little empire down here, whatever it is. I have somehow made 'being in control' so intrinsically part of my life that it has become a reflex. It offers me something; something I need to sustain myself in this world. It is a lie and a dangerous one at that. My sense is that this is typically the last frontier of the self that we hold back from Him. Again, it may be relatively easy to give up our first love of people, family, things or our pride of life. Yet self-will and self-governance do not fall so readily. They are bound into the very fabric of our being and our personhood; they form our reality and experience; they rise up almost on their own, and usually with all of the best intentions. They may have served us well for years. And yet if these last bastions of the self-life are not surrendered to Him, as is everything else, then His claim on us can never be complete; we will have not left all to follow our Lord and Master. He must know that we love Him and trust Him completely; that left with nothing to cling to or depend on, we will brave this evil world until His purposes in us are realized. Oh, dear saints, don't think for one second that this is just another religious exercise to be attended to, for it is so much more than that. And to even associate it with such is to admit that His Lordship has not penetrated that deep into our heart and lives. This is not that at all, but an often bewildering journey into darkness and uncertainty. If being in control has become something of a god to you, then He will most certainly ask you to give it up. The very ground beneath your feet will start to tremble and shake. All that you have trusted in when life gets hard, and circumstance and people press in on you will be out of reach. All you will have is Him, and His loving assurances. He will be all you have because we must come to the place where we realize that He is all we need! My friends, if this sounds more than a little like the self dying, then there is a reason for that. For this is precisely what it means to die unto ourselves that the Lord Jesus Christ may be duly formed in us; that all we are will be assimilated and redeemed by His life and essence. Just as our Lord fell backwards into the arms of the Heavenly Father on the way to Calvary and the Cross, we too must come to trust Him perfectly, as all that we are is exposed, stripped away, and consecrated to the Lord of All Life. He invariably must bring us through the fire of sanctification, that all of our tricks, and strategies for preserving and advancing ourselves in the world may be burned away. Do you trust Him perfectly - He whose love for you exceeds that of any other you know or trust? Will you present yourself to Him as a total living sacrifice with nothing held back? Will you submit to what must be in order for Christ to be fully formed in you, and His life manifested fully? Will you say to Him - "Lord I want you to take all of me or none at all" - and trust Him perfectly through whatever darkness, disorientation and uncertainly will be necessary to bring this about? My friends - we are complete in Him, as the Scripture reminds us, and His power and provision is more than capable of dealing with these hidden idols of the self that are so inherently rooted in what we have become in this life. There is no good thing in us that He needs to retain in order that the Life of God may be created in us. He will perform a new thing, a heavenly thing, and there is no need for Him to resort to any of the ways or wisdom of man to do this. In fact, He more often than not confounds these in order that we might know that His ways are so much higher than our ways. Real and radical change (a transfer of trust and lordship from the self to the Lord Jesus Christ in the Father's will) at the level we are talking about here can never be the result of human self-discipline, will power or any related psychological tricks. Please know that I am not writing these words as someone who has crossed over the Jordan already, but as someone who is knee deep and presently going through some very awkward and "self-killing" experiences. Deep down where spirit touches bone, I am learning rather painfully that He is all I have and need, and that trusting Him is not optional or supplemental to the Christian life, but rather the very essence of it. He will hold us up, and catch us when we fall, and carry us through - this is beyond question. All that remains is for us to embrace this, and to let our Lord do what only He can do... And to know the love of Christ, which passes knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God. Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us… (Ephesians 3:19-20) Oh Gracious and Faithful Father in Heaven - We ask that in forming your Son in us none of our idols will be spared, including the many aspects of the self-life that we have come to depend on to provide for and protect us in this world. We pray that you will take all of us or none at all, and that you will bring us lovingly to the place of trust and total reliance on You. Help us dear Father, to fall blindly into your care as did Your Son on the way to the cross. In Jesus' Glorious Name, we pray. Amen. *********************** Please pray for us here at Living-Walk, that we would watch and see the Master at work, and understand what He would have us do. Your friend and servant in Christ Jesus, Wayne |
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