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All That I Am, All That I Want To Be
The truth of the matter, brethren, is that we are all broken and in need of repair (or more accurately - replacement). Everyone single one of us, by virtue of all that we are and have become, is an offense to our Great God who is infinitely holy and perfect and complete in every way. Oh how wondrous it is that when He considers us, when He looks down upon us, He sees His Beloved and Righteous Son, and not our filthy rags, and the leprosy of sin that cleaves to our very being. Yet He has also sent forth His Holy and All-Searching Spirit into our hearts to reveal what we are at the root and core. And little ones, it ain’t pretty to be sure. In fact, lately I must confess that I am being stripped bare of all that I am, as He shows me just how utterly wicked and corrupt I really am. The mirror is nothing less than the Christ Himself, and my unlikeness to Him is absolutely appalling. Please pray for me brethren. Not that my life would be easy and smooth in this world. Not that He would grant me a new position somewhere where I can be a somebody with a face and a name. Not that I would be able to enjoy a pain and suffering free existence in this world. Not that I would have the “abundant and over-flowing life” they talk about on Christian radio and television. Not that my family would enjoy uninterrupted good health and blessing continuously… No not that, my friends. Not that at all. But rather that He would do something mighty and miraculous with my loose tongue, and impulsive nature. That He would confound my stubborn pride and self-will. That over forty years of doing things “my way” and “for myself” would finally and ultimately come to an end. That I would learn once and for all to trust Him completely, and stop trying to navigate this life by my instincts and intelligence and self-wrought wisdom. That I would once and for all stop listening to men, and start learning to discern His voice and His direction alone. Oh brethren, I am broken more than you can ever know. Yet I know, for I live inside this mind and this heart and this life, every single moment of every day. I want so much to be useful and profitable to Him, but something keeps getting in the way - and it is always ME! And everything that I am and have become in this life! Perhaps you have read many of the high-sounding sentiments I have shared over the years and have supposed that this author is somehow further down this road than you are; that I have drunk deep and long at the heavenly fountain. Funny isn’t it, how we human beings tend to do that. Yet we should know better as disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ. Have you ever wondered how the Bible seems to make a point of revealing the errors and weaknesses of the “saints”? Noah getting drunk on wine. Abraham lying about His wife to Pharaoh. Jonah running away from his post. Peter denying the Lord three times. Please pray that he would help me; that He would break me down such that he can build me up again in His Son! All or nothing! In one respect, it matters little to me that I have been “saved” or “redeemed” or “baptized”or any other religious sounding thing. What I want more than anything now, dear ones, is to be holy as he is holy; to be righteous as He is righteous; and ultimately to be something from which He can derive some measure of glory and honor.
Brethren, you know it really doesn’t matter how we became what we are - nature or nurture, genetics or environment etc. The only thing that matters is that all that we are is of positively no use to God unless and until He can reshape us into His very image! It is this image we see as we gaze upon the Holy One - the Bright and Shining Star! In the end, we are either a good tree or a bad tree, and our fruit gives us away, regardless of how religious or christian we try to appear before others.
My friends, I must confess before you that for most of my Christian life I have attempted to bring forth good fruit, even though I am, in every sense of the word - a BAD TREE! I am sure many of you know how this works. It is like draping a shiny new suit over a filthy body; yet at some point the fruit must give us away and reveal us for what we truly are. So please pray that the Lord would make me a good tree, with good roots and good branches and good fruit! And the hard truth of the matter is that there is really one one Good Tree, as John 15 confirms for us. Like many others (and most christian ministries sadly), I have made the fatal mistake of wanting to do something meaningful for the Lord at the end of this age. Strange isn’t, how somehow we think that He actually needs us flawed and puny human beings to restore this earth to agreement with Him, or put all of His enemies beneath His feet, or accomplish anything of eternal consequence. Strange also how we seem to so readily see the mysterious New Man in Christ, and what this presents to us individually, as merely a means to a larger end. Perhaps this is why the church spends a million dollars to save one single human being, and only a penny to teach them what this means. Incidentally, I have often compared this to companies selling products, who spend 99% of their budget on marketing (getting the customer) and only 1% on customer service (keeping the customer). The bottom line is that I (and all of you) have been saved to become holy! And if that is not my underlying hope or intention then I am perhaps better off back in the muck and mire of the world, scratching and clawing, without hope and without God! Brethren, please pray that He would do whatever it takes, that I would be conformed to the image of His Son. That the same precious blood that washed me thoroughly and brought newness of life into my dead spirit, would cleanse me of my unclean lips, my self-indulgent ways, my impulsive and foolish nature, my faithless heart, and my seeking after a place in this world! This means a lot to me believe me. I need you just as much as you need me. This is what it means to be one in the spirit; to both gain and suffer as the entire body gains and suffers. We really have nothing to hide from each other really, as we all know (or should anyway) what the human heart really looks like. I have always thought that the more we abide with each other in our weakness and need of cleansing, then the more intimately we will abide in He who is the True Life of the Body. I hope that makes sense. I am learning these things too my friends believe me, and often in my case it is the hard and long way. And please, if you are so inclined, please feel free to share here (by way of comments or email) that we might also pray for you. As far as I can tell there are really not that many who frequent this site regularly (perhaps only a handful among the 7 billion or so people in the world), but this matters little in the scheme of His grace and mercy. Thank you, and may our Gracious and Mighty Lord bless and establish you at the end of this age. He is coming soon don’t you know! The hour is late, and the time is short brethren. Let us not turn back, as did Lot’s wife, to the foul stench of Sodom, but let us go forward into His Glorious Kingdom! Amen Wayne Please pray for us here at Living-Walk, that we would watch and see the Master at work, and understand what He would have us be and do. Your friend and servant in Christ Jesus, W.E. Smith |
Dear
brethren, precious and beloved of our Heavenly Father, I
thank our Great God and the Lord Jesus Christ for all of you
“out there” who regularly visit these pages and pray for this
effort and the one sharing these thoughts. We are commanded to
love one another by He who first loved us, and I can think of no
deeper way to express this love than to bring each other before
the throne of grace and help, and to join with one another in
the spirit in prayer and patient petition. 